Famous quotes about life

Famous quotes about life

1. I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.

2. I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

3. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

4. Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

5. I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

6. Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.

7. I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

8. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

9. And on the eighth day God said, “Okay, Murphy, you’re in charge!” 

10. When you want something really bad, crying for it isn’t going to work nearly as good as complaining.

11. Relationships are like fat people, most of them don’t work out.

12. Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?

13. Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So lets all get wasted and have the time of our lives!

14. Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children.

15. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.

16. I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability. 

17. Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected…

18. If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.

19. Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. 

20. Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

21. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.

22. Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.

23. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

24. You know the speed of light, so what’s the speed of dark?

25. A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.

26. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you

Leave a Reply