Funny Quotes about Jews

1. If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

2. I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

3. In converting Jews to Christians, you raise the price of pork.

4. Why did Hitler kill himself?
The Jews sent him a gas bill!

5. What’s the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
Pizzas don’t scream when they are put in the oven!

6. Why do Jews have such big noses?
Because air is free!

7. What’s the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
A canoe tips!

8. Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
He came down the chimney and said, “Would you like to BUY some presents kiddies?”

9. How do you take a head count in Israel? 
Roll a penny down the street!

10. A woman reading Playboy feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi manual.

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