Funny sarcastic Quotes

1. It is not necesssary to understand things in order to argue about them.

2. The best things in life are free *plus shipping and handling*

3. Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.

4. He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.

5. Nostradamus predicted you’d be a loser.

6. I wish we were better strangers.

7. It’s never too late to go wrong.

8. There’s too much blood in my caffeine system.

9. We American’s, we’re a simple people… but piss us off, and we’ll bomb your cities.

10 .Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here).

11. If a stranger offers you a piece of candy, take two.

12. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

13. Sex is like air; it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.

14. The number one problem in our country is apathy, but who cares!

15. We have the best government that money can buy.

16. 100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?

17. Sarcasm: A literary device for identifying the stupid.

18. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

19. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.

20. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

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